dave takes two weeks paid time off each year in order to walk on hot coals in death valley. he returns to the midwest just in time for the start of football season — specifically, the wolverines opener. people come from all across michigan to line-up with their prize-winning cows. he makes a hell of a foot burger.
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andrew
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andrew
Dave Weiss entered Assembly Hall with five minutes to go and the hoosiers up double digits over the Wolverines. The Hoosiers shit themselves with fear and found themselves in OT. Dave stood just inside the doorway during OT, scratching his neckbeard and smoking a Camel. The Wolverines ran away with the game. The fans rioted. Dave ate them all and the riot gear for dessert.
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Greg Lawrence
The happy quotient in Denmark went up two fold with Dave and the Wolverine touching down in Copenhagen.
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andrew
A wolverine bit Dave. Its teeth became lodged in his forehead, but that didn’t stop him from jetting to Denmark. The flight attendant graciously handed him an extra pillow for the wolverine, who by that time, was quite tired.
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andrew
While starring in the Broadway production of The King and I, Dave impregnated co-star, Tom Brady. Their 15 pound child was born nine minutes later, busting out of Tom’s swollen abdomen and wearing nothing but football pants and a woolen Wolverines sweater. I heard the kid is playing for the Dolphins next year.
