With or without lipstick, Dave Weiss is a rottweiler wearing a sweater.
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andrew
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andrew
Weiss was slated to play in the third mall cop movie of the year, but all of the sweaters disappeared from wardrobe and the project was scratched.
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andrew
I was searching Wikipedia for Sweatergate and discovered the following:
Dave Madoff with millions of dollars and purchased Obama’s senate seat. He resold it to Oprah for a cool trill and she, in turn, gave it to Gayle as a Christmas present. Things got a little out of hand at the Harpo New Year celebration and Oprah ate Gayle. Dr. Phil agreed to do a C-section, forgetting that he’s not actually a doctor. Thus, he hired the Video Professor to fill-in after being guaranteed a full refund if he wasn’t fully satisfied. All of television land agreed that the operation was a success. Gayle emerged 150 lbs, six oz and named the entire series of events the Mojave Experiment.
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andrew
Dave earmarks his pork barrels for the future: 2036 Main Street, Midchestbestwesternville, Minnesota. He spends two fourths of every July working feverishly on his soy sewn time sweater. Someday he’ll be sweating it out in a foxhole with Dwight D. We’ll blink and he’ll be the father of our country.
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andrew
Dave was at the RNC wearing a 300 gallon hat. The front of it was embroidered with the following script “Sweaters First.”
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andrew
WEISS LINES:
You must be a wool sweater and a bottl’a'bushmills cuz the sight of you just warms me right up
It’s me, Willy Wonka. Get in the van.
Baby…You ever had both Corys at the same time?
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andrew
A Few of Dave’s Favorite Things
Sweaters and scotch and whiskers on kittens
Fresh newspapers and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper bags tied up with strings
These are a few of his favorite thingsCream colored coffee and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild Turkey that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of his favorite thingsWolverine pants with bright yellow sashes
Snowflakes that stay on his nose and eyelashes
Midwestern winters that melt into drinks
These are a few of his favorite thingsWhen the Dave bites
Sonfa bee sting
When he’s feeling mad
He simply remembers his favorite things
And swallows a mettttth laaaaaaaaaaaab -
edc
Dave Weiss shaved my mom’s cat. With the fur, he knitted a sweater for a homeless man on Cedar avenue. The homeless man thanked Dave for the sweater and asked how he could ever repay him. Dave responded by breaking every bone in the man’s body, then taking a dump on him.
