The Vikings trainers have approved Dave for action next week pending league approval of his new robopants. The tight end debuted these pants last week in warm-ups against the Panthers only to be sidelined by a case of neckbeard burn in a collision with fullback, Jim Kleinsasser.
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andrew
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andrew
Dave Weiss entered Assembly Hall with five minutes to go and the hoosiers up double digits over the Wolverines. The Hoosiers shit themselves with fear and found themselves in OT. Dave stood just inside the doorway during OT, scratching his neckbeard and smoking a Camel. The Wolverines ran away with the game. The fans rioted. Dave ate them all and the riot gear for dessert.
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andrew
He once provided a new ecosystem for an endangered ivory-billed woodpecker within the wooly confines of his neckbeard. Its health and virility improved within a week from a steady diet of Bushmills and second-hand smoke.